Thursday 11 September 2014

Broken Silence

My dear child, living in war, I have heard your cries; I am
Mother Nature, the essence of the earth that
you live in, the creator of life, the mother of
all instincts. My silence has often been mistaken
for defeat, and non sympathy from my side. I
am sad to inform you that despite all the dark
ages my land has witnessed, this has yet to be
the worst and cruelest nights of all.
These foolish humans have not heard your cries,
sadly because an emotional plea or cry is a
message too deep for their shallow minds to
interpret, they have forgotten the essence of
humanity and giving... They have forgotten that
this is beyond any act of peace; it is cruelest
act of murder and it is being done intentionally.
I have existed for millions of years before any
religion, or man.
I am breaking my silence to tell you my dear, do
not fret over your life, your existence is never a
mistake, and you scare these dark forces with
your inner light. They are the cowards; they
fear a little body that holds the boldest soul and
the loudest cries. I want you to know whatever
happens no force on this earth can change the
fact that at the end you belong with me.
It is I, who control and witness the death and
rebirth of each flower, plant and tree after the
most rigid storms. I have watched over a million
flowers bloom each spring, and baby this is your
storm. Don’t give up, I’ll be here to embrace
you when everything else fails, don’t let your
soul give in to despair your spring will come one
day.
I will be your soldier when these savages come to
take you. You are too pure anyway to be a
human being… come with me and live in my soils,
I will always love and cherish you. Watch how my
animals and plants will teach you the true
meaning of beauty, love and sacrifice.
Your memory will never be lost in vain, because
your flesh will add innocence and purity to all
my seasons and lands, even the air. Your love
for life will live in me forever… You may decide
to fall down as a leaf in autumn, even as rain or
snow in winter… You can flow freely in my rivers
in spring or even bloom as a flower. You can play
in my clouds and fly up to my heavens.
Your spirit can wander through all my season
breezes so freely and effortlessly, your heart
will be in the sunrays at dusk and you can
gently bathe in my sunset.
Forget humanity…forget your body….Forget
these cruel savages, because at the end they
will have no place here after they go, they shall
vanish in a dark deep hole in the universe, and
only you will remain.
Don’t be afraid of death, don’t be afraid when
it’s time to go, think of me, and my promises
what is waiting ahead. Your end of living will
only be a new beginning with me. These fools will
think they have killed you; truth is you shall
outlive them all for millions and millions of years
to come, just like many innocent souls have lived
in me for a million years before.
Therefore, when your time will come for you to
go, take a deep breath, close your eyes in
peace, and think of me…Think of my light and I
will embrace you.
You are after all a child of nature, and I will
never leave you.

Sunday 17 August 2014

Happy Birthday ♡

Even though we smiled & laughed today you were
always on my mind. My heart keeps tugging at your
memories ,I remember everyone's stories about you
how most loved ones said you made them laugh and
feel special. I remember some saying you danced in
the middle of a busy street with them while
wearing a clown costume... I can never forget the
concert we went to on your last birthday, how you
left your kids at home and insisted that it was just
our time together. All these are just small part of
a long list of memories that can go on forever,
little positive reminders of how much you mean to
me and taught me how to smile, laugh and dream.
Just because you weren't here to blow out your
candles, doesn't mean your not with us in another
way, your love is still here and will go on as long as
we live, because love never dies . So I pray to God
tonight more than ever to grant you eternal
happiness & peace. Happy Birthday Godmother.... I
will Always Love you!

Friday 8 August 2014

Crossroads

Crossroads
Her night came like a raging storm, too swiftly and un-expectedly as she lays in her bed at night startled from a haunting nightmare. Shivers run down her spine as the air turns icy cold. She is unable to move, unable to control the panic attack taking over her. She chuckles convincing herself everything is okay, maybe as a desperate attempt to drive her fears away or maybe set them aside till they become null. However, the more she ignores her feelings the worst it gets.

The more she drives her thoughts away from what’s bothering her, one thought keeps tapping, like a branch being controlled by strong wind, violently knocking on the front window of her mind. 
Her whole body tenses up, that she can barely move at times, just because she will not admit how heartbroken she is; she had promised herself not to go through that road again. She felt after all she had seen before life could not surprise her anymore.

She fakes a smile during her day trying to escape from the subject pretending not to care, trying one more time to make her fears fly away, attempting to take full control and stand strong. Nevertheless, it haunts her in her moments of solitude that each hobby she ever loved, stop meaning anything to her. Her nights become even worse as her nightmares come back with more intensity that all she can focus on is how sad and broken she feels, how much all the broken links in her life can never be the same again.

She holds a pen to express how her anger and silence is daunting, but she is faced with an un-bearable question: What if there is nothing left after burning down old bridges?
 That is the moment she promises herself as soon as she feels she can’t go through with this alone, she will reach out for help, and she does... She puts her faith in people who aren’t afraid to gently wrestle with her fears, maybe lessen her rage, and she feels a tiny glimpse of hope re-appear and a tiny breath of strength coming back.

She goes back to the start, taking each day one step at a time…one breath at a time. Knowing she is standing at a crossroad and soon she will have to choose which way to go. She closes her eyes each night embracing her solitude, she trusts her feelings fully for the first time since that last lightning struck. As the green fields, blue skies and colorful winds she’s focusing on become her peace points, she starts feeling tiny segments of herself come back. Un-welcome tears fall down her cheeks, not being aware of them until their warmth hit her arm.

She reminds herself how every accomplishment she had ever made started with goodbye, no matter how much it hurts; meaning she can’t give up or give in to defeat. She keeps pushing through slowly and steady till she is able to let go of situations and people so she can get to the other side. 

She learns the bridge she is walking on today may be burnt one day when it no longer serves her a purpose, despite that happening she will be okay. All because the lighting, which hit her last, un-veiled a hidden pathway to the deepest corners of her soul, a road she will memorize by heart the next time lightning may strike.

 ©Zeina A.G